Has it become a sin to want to be successful? Does trying to make it in the business world mean that you're a selfish, greedy person? Is rich a four-letter word? Within certain religious communities, I hear complaints about career advice or any advice for that matter believing that it attempts to replace their faith in God. People like this live in a very black & white world where their beliefs cannot coexist with other teachings.
Yet, who said that giving advice means you're trying to replace God? No, advice is sold separately my friends. Advice is a way to learn from the past and become better. Yet, some people in this world can’t make it in the business world and so they blame others or say that things are simply out of their control. While a great deal of life IS out of our control, there are indeed certain teachings or methodologies that we can learn to make us better in business.
This is called having no excuses and getting real with what it is that holds you back. Now, what holds you back may in fact be your current environment or your lack of confidence or maybe even your unwillingness to look in the mirror. Life is going to be unfair darling, but it is up to you whether or not you will let this unfairness define you or not.
Should you feel that working towards success is not the path in life for you, you should direct your attention elsewhere. Yet, if it is - if the thought of building a business or obtaining financial freedom does strike your fancy - you must be able to learn from others who’ve come before you.
So, instead of getting annoyed with another self-help article, maybe you should instead learn from it. Of course, in life, you must pick and choose what content you consume. Not everything out there will be Helpful. Lots of it will be BS.
If God is the center point of your life, that is outstanding. Yet, do not fail to realize that you can learn from career advice without making it your “God.” You can strive for success without making it your everything. You can become rich without being evil. All of these things can coexist, my friends. Keep hustling towards your dreams and remain a good person. You don’t owe anyone any apologies for being ambitious. They’ll only want to be you later.
It’s easy to be confident when everything’s going your way and you’ve already learned the ropes. When you’re in your safety net, you understand what it takes and how to get there. But not so much when you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone to try something totally new.
How can you be confident when you might feel like a fish out of water?
When you really don’t know what you’re doing, but you wish you did.
The old saying of “Fake it til you make it!” isn’t so easy when you feel so far removed from reaching your goal.
Whether it be adapting to a new environment or picking up a new skill, it takes guts to put yourself out there and try something new.
You NEED those guts in order to take the risk, but how do you hold on to your confidence through the multiple failures and missteps on the journey to success?
How do you remain steadfast when you're a total amateur?
I had to ask myself this same question when I moved to Chicago from my family's farm in Indiana. I always wanted to move to a big city to try something new, but I felt like a total foreigner once I actually made it up to the Windy City.
Frankly, I just didn't feel like I belonged.
I was totally confident in Indiana and grounded in who I was. Yet, here I was in the third largest city in the country and everything felt so out of place.
Did I make the right decision? I had the guts to go out and try to make it on my own without Mommy or Daddy holding my hand, but was this where I was supposed to go? How could I know?
What could I place my confidence in when everything seemed so uncertain?
We all know that we have to take risks and put ourselves out there in order to grow, but how do we keep the faith amongst all the uncertainty?
When things don't come so easily, remember these 5 things to grow your confidence bigger than ever before:
1. By Simply Trying, You Are Already Ahead of Countless Others:
It is important to remember that it takes a lot of character in simply putting yourself out there. Most people are too afraid to fail or of how they will look if they don't succeed.
Yet, if you never expose yourself to new possibilities, you will always get the same type of life.
2. You Don't Know What You're Doing, But Why Would You?!
Stop punishing yourself for not being an expert when you're just starting out. If you approach life that way, you will want to give up before the game has even started.
There will always be individuals that are smarter or better than you at whatever it is you're running towards. Getting embarrassed about where you're at is only a mark of insecurity.
True confidence is when you admit that you don't know what you're doing, but that you are more than ready to learn.
3. Befriend Your Role Models:
You can't learn everything that you need to know from reading a book. You can't understand all that this world has to offer by simply staying in your particular corner.
Look to those ahead of you who know their way around or have become an expert in their particular field. If you compliment them on their knowledge, they will likely be willing to share. Perhaps they can attest to feeling like a total beginner at one point too.
4. Stick to Your Values:
Someone who is truly confident knows what matters most to them. They hold on to their values no matter where they are or what situation they may be in.
On the contrary, someone who is insecure will be tossed like a leaf in the wind, changing their opinion with every new person they meet. It is great to be open-minded, but there is never a reason to change who you are and what matters most to you to fit in somewhere else.
The world needs more people willing to be different than the crowd.
5. Look Back Knowing That You Survived:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'" - Eleanor Roosevelt
Nothing gives greater confidence than to know that you survived whatever obstacle you put yourself through. If you can look back thinking to yourself, "I rose to the challenge and came out stronger," then just imagine all that you are capable of in the future.
It takes guts to put yourself out there, but that's exactly what you're made of.
Oh, and don't worry - Chicago ain't got nothin' on me now.
We've all been there - the winter slump, where the days become shorter and the lack of sunlight & hours spent camped out on the couch have you questioning your existence...Okay maybe that's a bit harsh, but you get the point. We've all been stuck before.
Maybe you feel like you're just going through the motions. Maybe you feel like you aren't making any progress towards your goals. Or maybe you don't even KNOW what those goals should be. But, remember that kick ass woman you used to dream of becoming? She's still there. Deep down, you know you were meant to be her. Not this netflix-and-chill lady you've been these days.
So, how do you get back to that inner power woman who just doesn't give up? The woman that doesn't let others negativity get her down, but rises above the BS to fight for what she believes in. She's still there and she's telling you it's time to shake up your perspective!
What better way to reawaken your inner badass than to learn from the pros? There's enough noise out there already with the constant connection to social media & entrance of things like Facebook Depression. Why not decide to consume content that actually matters?
Here's my rundown on the last five books I've read that will motivate you to get back to what lights your soul on fire:
1. And the Good New Is...Lessons and Advice from the Bright Side
Author: Dana Perino
Dana Perino was the former white house press secretary for George W. Bush and currently serves on one of the most watched political commentary shows, The Five, where she hones her incredible PR talent.
In her book, she shares the several less-than-fulfilling jobs she had to go through to find where she was ultimately meant to be. She gives excellent advice on how to stand out as a young woman, including kicking "uptalk" to the curb. I applaud her for being real and not getting stuck on being politically correct. We all need straight talk when it comes to reaching our potential.
2. Destiny: Step into Your Purpose
Author: T.D. Jakes
For those that are looking for a deeper understanding into finding their purpose on this earth, this is a great book. Pastor T.D. Jakes knows how to light your soul on fire and get you to start living life with a greater meaning.
Author: Sophia Amoruso
From teenage misfit to Nasty Gal CEO, Sophia Amoruso is the definition of a girl boss. She has constantly remained true to herself instead of submitting to a watered-down version of what others think she should be.
From being an expert tuna-sandwich-maker at Subway to now running her own company, Sophia teaches us that it's all in the details and you never know how the mundane jobs can give you the skills you need to become the best version of yourself. Oh, and the book is hilarious. Must read.
5. David & Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits & the Art of Battling Giants
Author: Malcolm Gladwell
Malcolm Gladwell is just too interesting to miss. He has a great track record of outstanding books like Outliers and the Tipping Point. In David & Goliath, he reframes our thinking to understand that being an underdog is not actually a disadvantage - that maybe we've been seeing it wrong the whole time.
If the underdog decides to not play be the rules, it is often a huge advantage, as history has shown us in several wars and stories of rags-to-riches types.
Perhaps, growing up rich is not what we should wish for. That those things that we see as weaknesses can actually be turned around and serve as our greatest strengths to become what we were meant to be.
It is 2010 and I am walking with my friends along Martin Jischke Drive on my way to Entrepreneurship 100, one of my favorite classes on Purdue’s campus. I look down and notice a text from my Dad that reads, “Just think, you’ll be driving a 2014 Mustang in a few years.” This makes me smile thinking of my graduation date in four years. His belief in me pushes me to keep working hard through it all.
You may have heard the saying, “Behind every good man stands a great woman.” But, I would take this saying a step further to say that behind every successful person stands someone who placed high expectations on them. Whether it be a teacher, coach, parent, or boss that believed in you, their expectations alone helped you immensely more than you could ever know.
This phenomenon is known as The Pygmalion Effect in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. As social psychologist, Robert Rosenthal puts it, "What one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy." Consequently, the Golem Effect argues that low expectations lead to a decrease in performance.
In both effects, the expectations of others serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Regarding the Pygmalion Effect, people internalize their positive labels, and those with positive labels succeed accordingly. The idea behind the Pygmalion Effect is that increasing the leader's expectation of the follower's performance will result in better follower performance.
Just think back to your own life:
Was there ever anyone that pushed you to keep going when you did not see the direct payoff?
Was it a coach?
Was it a teacher?
Well, whoever it was, thank them.
Their belief in your potential helped frame your idea of what you could one day become. Without it, you might not have ended up where you are now. Whether this is where you want to ultimately end up or not, appreciate the people who have helped you get this far.
When looking back on others who have believed in you, it really is about all of the little things that these people did to get you where you are today. Whether it simply be taking the time to listen to your opinion or outlining their high hopes for you, all of these little things truly add up!
Below is a short poem written by my father when I decided to pursue a degree in Management. His to-the-point words have stuck with me ever since.
It truly is amazing what a few kind words can do for someone's life...
Yet, do not wait around for everyone to imagine you doing great things. When it comes to your support system, you may only need a few people to truly believe in your capabilities. But, it is my hope that you can find a place where the right people hold you to a higher regard. Remember that by surrounding yourself with the right people, your whole life can change.
So, never settle.
And never give up.
Today will be good. :)
How To Use the “Pygmalion” Effect | TIME.com. (n.d.). Retrieved April 9, 2015, from http://ideas.time.com/2013/04/01/how-to-use-the-pygmalion-effect/
Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy: The First Follower and more... (n.d.). Retrieved April 15, 2015, from http://ed.ted.com/on/IgslePtt#review
Paul, A. (2013, March 25). What We Expect From Ourselves And Others Often Becomes Reality. Retrieved April 5, 2015, from http://www.businessinsider.com/set-high-expectations-for-yourself-and-others-2013-3
The Power of the Pygmalion Effect. (n.d.). Retrieved April 7, 2015, from https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/education/report/2014/10/06/96806/the-power-of-the-pygmalion-effect/
Some of us are afraid of being alone. We would rather be surrounded by friends and family than go out on our own excursion. Life is more fun with the ones you love, right? Wrong. Well, sometimes, wrong. If you never let yourself do your own thing, then you are vastly limiting the places that you will go.
Do you really want to live a life based on everyone else's terms? I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and finally go it alone...literally. Whether it be traveling to a different country or simply going to a coffee shop on your own, the freedom that comes with being independent is well worth it.
It may seem uncomfortable doing some things alone, but it is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It shows character and that you do not have to wait on others to do what you want. Below are the top five reasons to become a confident loner from time to time:
1. Being Independent Shows Self-Confidence.
If you do not constantly need the security blanket of your friends, it shows high self-worth. It, in fact, does not make you look like a loser and anyone who thinks so is a loser, themselves. Ditch em'. Doing your own thing shows TRUE confidence which comes from inside instead of the outside approval from those around you.
Seriously, why are you only doing the things that your friends and family are doing? While it would make sense that you share many of the same interests, you will never grow if you do not occasionally step outside of that group. Sometimes, this means you will have to explore alone. But, why is that such a bad thing?
2. You Live Life On Your Own Terms.
If you always need to be surrounded by friends, there are undoubtedly some things you will never experience. That is not to say that once you get wherever you are going, you cannot make new friends. But, sometimes, what you want will be different than what those immediately around you want. Does that mean you should forget about your interests and just do what they want to do?
No. I call that being a pushover. Way too many of us are pushovers and yet, who even likes a pushover?! Instead, if you want to go to church and none of your friends do, then just go! Let them call you a Holy Roller. Who cares if you are alone? If you want to go to a Meetup event and no one around you is even mildly interested, still go! The right people will admire that you have the tenacity to do what YOU want.
From personal experience, I know that doing things outside of your comfort zone is not always that easy. My personal move to Chicago from a rural area in Indiana was definitely not my family's choice. If you know my parents, they are much more Southern Charm than Chi-Town. I seem to be a weird combination of country and city, myself.
While I admire my parents more than words can even describe, I am old enough to live my own life. If I was doing what was comfortable, I never would have moved somewhere different on my own, but then I would never really know what all is out there. And, believe me, I'm just getting started in that department.
3. You Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone.
Speaking of what all is out there, how are you to know the possibilities if you are unwilling to do things on your own? You always hear people say that you never know what you might like, but this is so true. You really don't! So, why not give it a try?
If you hate it, then just leave. In life, we often think that we are limited to our current circumstances, but that is so far from the truth. If you do not like where you are at right in this moment, then it is going to take some working outside of your comfort zone to get there, but you can change where you end up.
4. You Meet Random People.
If you decide to simply remain in your circle of friends, you will likely meet more of the same people. While they could all be amazing, there are great benefits in getting to know a different perspective. It helps you to view the world in a new light and to have empathy for others' vastly different lives.
Sometimes I laugh, because I hear "city people" talk about "country people" like they are all slow-moving preachers that like to hunt. And then I hear "country people" say "city people" are all rude and overly liberal. These statements are all, of course, stereotypes. Hearing these references is rather entertaining, because we all think our perspective is right! We see one side based on our current world and think that everyone else should come to the same conclusion.
Instead, getting to know different types of people helps in giving a new view of the world. While you may still hold the same opinion as before, at least you can better relate to others or form an opinion based on a more holistic approach.
5. You Learn About Yourself.
In all, we often think that being alone is a bad thing. But, this is so far from the truth. There will be times in your life when you are surrounded by good friends and family and times when you will have to forge your own path.
Do not be afraid to go it alone when you know that is what your heart truly wants. Being alone gives you a new perspective on what you really want. So, be cool enough with yourself to sometimes do your own thing. In a world full of posers, decide to just do you.
Walk like you have three men walking behind you (because you are just that important) and follow your own path on your own terms. There is no reason to be ashamed of doing just that.
We all have our unique strengths, but some of us go throughout life never unlocking what ours truly are.
So, we settle and worry about trivial things that have no real impact on what matters. Yet, a life of purpose is within your reach. If you are simply willing to step outside of your comfort zone, then you can contribute to this world in a way that is completely your own.
Thus, I bring you the story of my dear friend, Emma Linke. Emma is a bubbly and bright young woman who, like any other 22-year-old, occasionally feels overwhelmed at the thought of embarking upon a career. But, despite her disability, she has inspired countless individuals to keep pushing through life’s obstacles and find a place where they can truly make a difference, in their own way.
Below, in her own words, is Emma’s story:
World of Ability:
Hi, my name is Emma Rose Linke. When I was in high school at Columbus East, I did not want to talk about my disability. It was hard for me in high school. The first thing was that I would tell myself that I can’t do things. Then, my friend, Jenna Brewer, sat down on a couch and we talked about stuff like why I had said that.
Back in high school, I did not feel like I had very much confidence in myself all throughout 11th grade. Then, my senior year came and one day, I worked on my senior project at school. I was saying different words like that and Jenna said to me, “Don’t say that. I have faith in ya!” I said that I will try to not say that any more. I am glad that I have Jenna in my life. She got me through high school.
Then, I did a project with Cummins. It helped students with disabilities and it was called World of Ability. I realized that I could inspire a lot of people from it and now, after I did it, I just realized what all other people can do with a disability like me. When I hear nice comments about me from my friends like Jenna and Jess Brewer and their parents and brother and when I think back from it, I just realize I can help other people to find a job like me.
If you put your mind to it, you can do anything. Keep your head up and keep positive and do not put yourself down. It is not good and if you do, you will think that you won’t be able to do anything. I hope after you see my video, then you can realize what struggles I went through. That is why you can have special people in your life like family and friends.
WATCH THE WORLD OF ABILITY VIDEO HERE sponsored by Cummins Foundation: Select
Lastly, I leave you with an inspirational story that Emma wrote about her future ambitions. It is my hope that we can make a couple of her dreams come true:
Just Follow Your Dreams:
One day, I am going to follow my dreams of getting a paying job and make more money and I am going to learn how to drive a car and I will be able to go anywhere I can go and hang out with friends. I want to go on vacation to North Carolina to visit another place with friends I love and care about and make me happy.
And I can get out of my little box and I can get out in the real world and be not scared of things. One of my friends lives in Chicago. It is one of very pretty places in the world and I want to be able to take a picture of different places. I can make my own web site like one of my friends. She inspired me by her website, Think Train. It helped me through different things.
In all, Emma has inspired me to continue pushing through when figuring out how I can contribute to this world. While the fear of being vulnerable holds many of us back, Emma has shown that pushing through these feelings can open new doors to optimizing your potential. I hope that what we can all take away from this story is that we should be more like Emma and not let our fears hold us back from achieving true purpose.
If you have any questions for Emma, you can add her on Instagram @11linkee or on facebook, Emma Linke.
Confidence: we all want it, but what really is it? To me, confidence is a mindset rather than a temporary state of mind. True confidence shows through when you put yourself outside of your comfort zone and remain true to yourself i.e. your values, beliefs and dreams.
Contrarily, we often see the character in life that walks around with this borderline arrogant air about him or her. We think,"Wow, I want to be that person. They have it all." Yet, is that what true confidence is?
Is confidence simply knowing that you have it all together and constantly portraying that cool image? Or is confidence an undying faith that it will all work out, because you are living a life that is true to yourself? It may not always be easy, but it is real and organic.
Confidence is the opposite of needing to be the center of attention. It is not demanding. It is does not ask for others’ acceptance. It does not require a certain list to be met in order to be real. It is an understanding that you are true to yourself, whether others like it or not.
I think we all too often confuse the two. We want to have perfection for others to see. But it is all too easy to be confident when you are living a perfect life. Show me the person who is faced with life's greatest obstacles and is still pushing through and I will call THAT confidence.
Who has everything together all the time? Let us not lie to ourselves and others by portraying this image of perfection and false confidence. True confidence shows through when you are going through hell, but you keep on going.
If confidence is wearing the best designer brands in order to feel good about yourself, I don’t care too much for it. While I do enjoy the finer things in life, I know that they can be quickly fleeting and of small substance.
Rather, I know who I am and what I stand for whether I have nice things or am perceived as cool by others or not. To me, that is confidence. And I can carry it with me wherever I go.
Imagine a young man who spends all day and night fantasizing of one day achieving real success. He lays in bed at night dreaming of what it would be like to actually live the American Dream: to have the freedom to do what he wants when he wants and to help others when they need it.
He isn’t greedy in the sense that he merely seeks out fortunes. He is deeper than that. He wants to fulfill his potential by devoting himself to his business, whatever it takes.
His dream is of one day “making it.” That way, he can provide for his family and look back and smile knowing that he did not waste away any of his God-given talent. Instead he utilized everything that was given to him and worked until he had made something out of it.
His formula equates that concentrated hard work will get him the success that he dreams of. And this very success will warrant happiness. Until then, he puts his head down and works. He can truly enjoy life upon reaching this ultimate dream of his.
However, he gets discouraged: He never feels quite good enough. He never IS good enough, because he has yet to achieve this ultimate level of success. Even when he reaches victories that others would find incredible, he is still not finished. Not yet.
So, his mind slowly begins to sink in to depression. It becomes all-consuming and is hard to escape.
Yet, he reasons that if he only works harder, then one day it will all be worth it. All the blood, sweat and tears it took to get there. He will be happy on the other side of success.
But, I beg to differ.
And so does a very smart man from Harvard.
This man’s name is Shawn Achor and he wrote The Happiness Advantage. In it, he addresses an all-too-common problem that many of us face: We let our happiness become dependent upon our current level of success. And every time we reach yet another goal of ours, we must reorient what the next level will have to be in order to make us happy again.
If we thought we would be happy once we got that new car, well, a few weeks in and our day job still sucks and we would rather stay in bed all day than drive it to work. Oh and you finally got that raise you were dreaming of, huh? But, now you only want MORE.
It is NEVER enough.
If you wait for happiness on the other side of your successes, you are merely setting yourself up for failure, in more ways than one. The immediate happiness you receive from those successes will be quickly fleeting. In fact, you will actually reach a lower level of success in the long run this way.
You see, the proof is in the pudding:
"Recent discoveries in the field of positive psychology have shown that the formula is actually backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around."
"When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work."
This isn’t just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe."
Thus, we must deploy a certain set of tactics to help us in achieving happiness BEFORE success. The reasons are plentiful among saving our own mental sanity and optimizing our ultimate potential.
So, for the next 21 days, I challenge you to deploy at least one of Achor’s tactics:
1. Journal about one positive experience over the last 24 hours: Even if you have had a bad day, you can still find joy in one simple thing. By writing this down, you conjure up positive thoughts outside of that moment.
2. Write down three things you are grateful for: These three things must be different each day. This helps your brain to begin seeing the positive in everyday things.
3. Exercise: A mere 15 minutes is equal to taking one antidepressant.
4. Meditate: It helps us to focus on one thing in this ever-changing world of constant distraction.
5. Perform either random or conscious acts of kindness every day: For instance, thank one person each day for what they have done for you. This not only makes them feel good, but it strengthens the relationship you have with them. These relationships determine a lot more of your overall happiness than you think.
So aim to pull yourself out of the rat race now.
You will never be successful enough to warrant lasting happiness. It will never be enough. So just give that up already. Instead, focus on just one of these 5 steps over the next 21 days and see what happens. After all, it could alter the way you look at the world and, thus, the person you one day become.
For more information regarding The Happiness Advantage, visit goodthink.com
It is uncool to be perfect. Why? Because, it is simply impossible. It is an accident waiting to happen; a stress bomb waiting to explode; setting one’s expectations extremely high for something that will never occur. Yet, millions of us are only willing to do things when we know we will look good or will win the game.
And there is reasoning behind this.
We are not stupid here. We don’t want to put ourselves out there TOO MUCH, because we have before and failed and it hurt. It hurt our pride and we never fully recovered. What did we learn from that rejection from the man/woman we thought we were in love with?
Well, sometimes, we just don’t know.
And we don’t want to try again.
Why risk being rejected again or, even worse, publicly humiliated?!
Why not stay in our little box forever?
After all, it feels pretty comfortable in there. I mean, it gets a little boring at times, but, eh, what can you do?
…Or is there something?
Something that could possibly push us away from living this confined lifestyle in which we try so hard to impress people that WE DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT.
While we naturally seek that euphoric rush that comes from coming out on top, we must not limit ourselves by it. Yes, it feels great to be the QB throwing the winning pass or the superstar in the boardroom making the big deals.
But, can it last?
Don’t let your potential just be an idea:
While there is significant motivation behind a good competitive spirit to become the best of the best, one must understand the implications of always expecting to win. The problem arises when we become unwilling to break out of our shell in order to grow. When we become so afraid of failure or “looking like an idiot” that we halt moving forward, we have made a major mistake. Our potential is then just an idea that will never be fully reached.
So how do we stop this huge mistake from happening and ruining our one, quickly fleeting life?
“IF, [like those with the growth mindset], you believe you can develop yourself, then you're open to accurate information about your current abilities, even if it's unflattering,” elaborates Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, on her belief in the Effort Effect.
In her book, The New Psychology of Success, Dweck offers that by deploying a mindset in which we do not believe our IQ to be permanently fixed, we open ourselves up to exponential possibilities and can reach our true potential (Dweck, 2006). Too many of us are simply unwilling to put ourselves in situations in which we believe others are smarter than us, because we blame ourselves for not being as knowledgeable on the respective subject.
But, is this the way to go?
After all, why not attempt to learn from others that are smarter than us?
Why not put ourselves out there?
How can you truly learn from others that never challenge you?
Blame Yourself, But Not Always...
We often either believe that we should have “studied harder” or that we simply do not hold the mental capacity for a specific level of intelligence. So, we give up and get out of the game. Contrarily, those that, when faced with failure, see it as a product of circumstances and do not solely blame themselves for their shortcoming, have the necessary endurance to push through challenges and go on to become wildly more successful than before. This does not mean that it is healthy to blame others for your failure, but to simply beat yourself up less for failing, because it is only a temporary instance that will fuel your future growth.
So, is it possible to manipulate your fixed mindset and become more comfortable with the uncomfortable?
While it is not an easy task, the key is to focus on rewarding yourself for perseverance over perfection. This takes a great deal of patience, but its’ consequences open up countless doors of opportunity that would never have been opened up, otherwise.
As Thomas Watson notes, “Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.”
7 Steps to Achieving the Growth Mindset:
1. Focus on effort and persistence over instant gratification
2. Be accepting of difficult tasks
3. Concentrate on different strategies as opposed to how a task seems impossible
4. Accept failure as a temporary setback
5. Realize that hard work is necessary
6. More hard work
7. Rinse & repeat
Even more, with children, we can help them to develop a growth mindset by encouraging them as they persist through challenges. While we should not give every kid a trophy (please don't America), it is necessary to teach them that, in order to win, they will certainly face failures and will not always be the best. Having a good sense of humor and underlying confidence are not only key, but absolutely necessary in order to push through life's challenges.
Look like a Confident Idiot:
So, the next time you say something that makes zero sense during a meeting, realize it was only one time and come back wittier the next time around.
When you try to dance and end up getting 100% served, throw your hands up in the air and dance harder.
If you’re lucky, someone might even feel sorry for you and join in.
The next time you let yourself become vulnerable enough to get hurt in the game of love, stand back up and confidently declare that you will find better next time. Because, deep down, you know there is more out there. Somewhere.
The next time you fail, realize you had more balls than all the others who never even tried. That should help you get back up again. And become more successful in the long run.
So go on,
You are one ballsy SOB and you are going places. You confident idiot, you.
Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.