Do you want to be happy? Are you willing to face what it is that holds you back from that? Are you willing to take a look in the mirror and get real with what's keeping you from living the life of your dreams?
I thought I was. I thought I was the self-development guru. I knew all the lines - that in order to be successful, I'd have to fail many, many times. That I would have to be okay with looking like a fool and that I would have to get real with who I wanted to be, not what I thought others would like from me. I thought I had it all down.
But, I suppose life is never quite done teaching you its greatest lessons. Sometimes, you have to learn the same thing over and over again to what feels like 80 times. Sometimes, we get so stubborn that we can't even see that we are causing our own suffering, our own pain.
I was recently talking with a friend about being a "gritty" person. I'm one hell of a gritty person. I have realized that I can survive just about anything. I might look sweet, but believe me, I'm tougher than most grown men. A lot of my close friends would say the same.
BUT, I'm also harder on myself than just about anyone out there. I do this, because I care. I care so deeply and I so deeply want to make an impact in this world. Once I know what direction I'm headed in, honey, I'm an unstoppable force. But, I guess life brought me to a point where I felt like I needed to change something and yet I had already exhausted all options. I felt like I had tried every damn thing in order to make things better.
I wasn't happy with my new life. I had moved to the wonderful city of Chicago, but I just knew that something wasn't right. I didn't feel like I was fulfilled at work, didn't know if I belonged where I was and just questioned every dang thing. I've always known that my emotions are like a gauge, always telling me which way to go next. However, I just felt plain stuck. I felt like I had put myself out there to make a change and time and time again, I'd get my hopes up to no avail.
Perhaps it was "Shiny Object Syndrome" like my life coach Sheila Petersen had mentioned, where everything else sounds like the next best thing. I thought I had figured out that I needed a change and now I just needed to make things happen. Work hard enough to get the results you want. Simple, right?
Oh, yet again, I was mistaken. The harder I worked towards making a change, the more it ended up hurting me. I mean c'mon. I'm very confident, but any one person can only face so many failed attempts. I had to face my demons. Once and for all.
Maybe you're not being treated like you feel you deserve at work. Maybe you don't understand why you haven't met the man or woman of your dreams yet. Maybe you feel like your friends always turn their back on you. Whatever the case may be, I, myself, was notorious for being a gritty person and saying, "work harder", "be better" and good things will come your way.
Sometimes, we just haven't faced that we are working hard enough, but we are failing to face what bothers us most in life. We all have insecurities, but some of us have made it up in our head that we are just going to keep on going with the self-deprecating thoughts or words. We are just going to keep hurting ourselves internally, because we just can't see when enough it enough.
To all you gritty people out there, I ask you, "Are you working harder in order to avoid what it is that really bothers you deep down?" We all have demons, but some of us never face them. The funny thing is we work harder thinking we are facing them, when we are really just focusing on something we've already mastered.
Perhaps you feel like you don't know how to stand up for yourself. Perhaps you feel like you aren't that good-looking. Perhaps you feel ungodly intimidated by certain people and your anxiety is at an all-time high. Whatever the case may be, you've got to decide ONCE & FOR ALL that you're not going to let these shortcomings rule your life anymore.
You're going to face what it is that bothers you. That sensitive subject that you literally could run away screaming from. Oh, but deep down it keeps on bothering you. I think it's time to pony up and look in the mirror. I'm not saying that you should blame yourself some more. HELL NO!
I'm saying you've got to decide what you're going to change, whether that be your negative thoughts or the way you let idiots get to you. Then, once you've done that, you've got to say SCREW IT. I don't deserve to live a life of suffering. Once I've done all I can, that's it. I'm going to be confident and own who I am. I'm going to be true to that woman (not society, not a man, not anyone else), because, let's face it, it hurts to be anything but ourselves. I mean it physically hurts.
And just like that, a whole new world opens up. You're not going to put up with the BS any longer. Done. You're on to better things. Laugh a little longer, cry a little harder, but realize that you're going to face it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. And it's going to be one hell of a ride. A life far from perfect, but a life well-lived.